Monster War.

Loves.

retarddxx
Laoma.Panyin
Retardgirl#1.VengYi
Retardgirl#2.YingTing
Retardgirl#3.Michelle
ToiletBowl.DengYin.
Cousin.GarYim
Adna
Yanni
&myself;ancestorCAS.

Bimbotic Diamonds<3
D-lock;ZhengYang
I-lock;Jonathan
A-key;Peishi
M-key;ME!
O-key;siewlin
N-key;Veron
D-key;Charlene

SSAQT,swimmers,
Jerome kor
Mathew ShuaiGe
Weipei
Jialong
Wilson
Simon
-although we have gone separate ways, i'll never forget all of you.

asshole.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Shut Up.

(back to the top)

im not mean :(

Friday, February 5, 2010

I failed to be mean.

Im still that nice-ass that still gets bullied.

That's my Life.

Live,not exist. But how can i LIVE lk a normal Human Being?

(back to the top)

end of post,end of life.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

DOES ANYONE UNDERSTANDS ME?

been crying since 4plus. even since i got home.
everyone has turned their backs on me. and im serious.

when i came home, i wanted to share th joy that environmental society now has 64 members. i just wanted to share this joy with the people i love.
yet my sister shouted: "so what?" and my mum said: "i dont give a damn to whatever you do. just make sure you stop getting involved in dno-what activities and start studying"

so,i shouted back at my sis, and asked her why must she shout at me. okay, in fact i didnt shout. i spoke so nicely. i tried to understand her. yet she just asked me to SHUT UP. and even told me to "GO AND DIE"

see,does anyone really care?
sometimes, people like Hey say there will be someone who would be there.
but in reality, it's not. yeahs there will be people. behind your backs/infront of you running you down and making your life much more miserable than it already was.

ive alot of probs in schl. ive noone to turn to in school cause ive no friends. and when im back at home, i thought i finally had someone to turn to.
but then i was wrong.

my life's screwed. while people had sorrows cause of just school work.
i have sorrows in evth. my family, my friends, my love, my sch work, my singing, my swimming. tt's my life. a life full of misery you can never imagine.

people call me a crybaby. for crying. yet they dno how much hurt im suffering.
my heart aches every minute,and second.
yet there's noone to heal it for me.
doesnt that spell the imperative for Death.
God,take me away. away from this world of cruelty and unhappiness. Bring me happiness, ive never experience before on this scary place.

im never happy.

but at least during this tough times of mine, i know there'll alwys be this person who'll be there.
choy siewlin.
now,i know who i can give my last words to, when god takes my life sometime soon.
hope evone on mother earth will feel happy without me.
cause i bet they will.
im just a liability. a total freak who does not deserve this pathetic life.

and in class,i dno whether people dislike me or not. somehow it's my intuition.
they're nice people,so they dont tell me they dont lk me.
maybe being explicit about how they feel about me,would make me feel much better.
now,im feeling worse. cause they're too nice.

hurt me now,cause im alrd immune.
leave me cold-hearted. cause im nerve-less alrd.

somehow during this kind of tough times,you'll really knw who cares.
not my family.
not friends who seemingly care.
its weird huh.
i called three of my good friends.
one of them said she was unhappy then she cant talk to me.
the other hung up of me.
but at least there was ONE who stood by me all this while.

i really love her.
now,im tired of caring for other people
i take back my words that i will start CHERISHing people arnd me.
lk i said,im cold-hearted. devoid of feelings.

stab me a thousand times, i can only say my heart's t one tt's hurting only.

(tried calling him too) it's surprising too rights. just as i was crying so badly. when my mind was in a total blank. i thought of my three good friends and Him. tried calling him. but he didnt pick up.
it's weird. cause we've lost contact. and he hates me now. lk ttm.
but it's maybe cause these people are really the ones who matter to me t most.

P.S. sorry that i may not be making any sense in this post. im crying. so i cant think properly.
if u see me crying in sch, just walk away and treat me lk a non-living thing.
isnt this what is alwys happening.

but on tues,im glad my class did care. even ziwei did ask me (: at least something worth to be happy about. before i make my last words.

-end of post-
time to end my life with my last words as above.
i hope t people i mentioned,knw they mean alot to me.
gy,neh,Him, and last of all, choy siewlin!
hope your life will be much meaningful without me. at least i knw my life's much better with you around.

(back to the top)

CHERISH.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

"i dno how much you meant to me, until i lost you."

im starting to CHERISH the people around me. even if they were new friends i made, I WILL care and love them from now.

sometimes, it's until you lost something, will you then learn to treasure it.

my grandma's admitted to hospital again. it's really not a good sign. people say.

i wonder if its cause of all the wrongdoings and evil deeds ive committed that brought the one i love, misfortunes, misery and mishaps.

i hate myself, stood in t middle of t road. i just wanted a car to just crash me down. somehow, it'd lessen my pain heh.

had PE today. thou i wasnt feeling well, i told myself. i need to inflict myself with physical pain to get rid of the emotional pain im enduring now. yes, endure's t word.

伤心的时候，最有效，是跑。因为，你的泪水会成为汗水。

heard from tong who heard from qiongshan.
i think it really makes sense.
that's why i alwys indulge myself in runs. and sprints to clear all th unhappiness within me.

yes, and even after crying after my run,noone noticed. effective, aint it?

in fact,physical pain can never surpass emotional pain.

(we had a new pe teacher today. she's a really nice athletics senior yupps. took over jingjie. and she thought i cheated my runs today :X was still hoping she remembered me, but well D:)

let's run! - strieks enthusiastically.

i need to find purpose in my life. i have to stop thinking about you. i have to stop pondering over the mmrs. i have to stop being jealous when i see you flirting with other GIRLS. i have to get you out of my life. i have to convince myself i no longer mean anything to you. i have to tell myself that even if it was one glance, it was not directed at me.

i really need you. but now,its time to move on. (thanks gk xD)

he's at that distance, i cant seem to reach.

"MAYBE IT'S TRUE, I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU."

(back to the top)

Profile

Cassandra

I M C.ASS.L.Y., C.S.L.Y,

I dont believe in True~~Love.~~

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

person LOVE me . ?

Free Counter
was here since 7/12/08

Tagboard

scream it out loud

TKS F TAGGING ^^

Affiliates

you're on your way

? private blog
? 2ICEKACHANG
? raye.faye.jaye
? meimei cherie
? garyim
? ytingg!
? vengyi
? feng
? weikai
? zoey
? charlene
? jeanette
? jialong
? wilson
? jiayi