Monster War.

Loves.

retarddxx
Laoma.Panyin
Retardgirl#1.VengYi
Retardgirl#2.YingTing
Retardgirl#3.Michelle
ToiletBowl.DengYin.
Cousin.GarYim
Adna
Yanni
&myself;ancestorCAS.

Bimbotic Diamonds<3
D-lock;ZhengYang
I-lock;Jonathan
A-key;Peishi
M-key;ME!
O-key;siewlin
N-key;Veron
D-key;Charlene

SSAQT,swimmers,
Jerome kor
Mathew ShuaiGe
Weipei
Jialong
Wilson
Simon
-although we have gone separate ways, i'll never forget all of you.

Friday, May 29, 2009

ive confessed.
was it a good idea?

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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

hehs.
gryphon and unicorn got tied for xcountry 09!
is this fate?
is this the start of my new beginning?

im in love with a guy in gryphon(:

hehs.
and im really happy.
i wont feel guilty that i like another guy anymore.
cos leehanqian has found a new girl!
yeaps,i feel happy for him.
at least cos im not good enough for him. and so he deserves a better girl.
and of course cos i no longer needa feel guilty to him.
he's got a new girl.
and i like someone too.

so it's end of my love for a mino guy (:

im so happy.
gna confess on fri.
is it too quick?
but somehow i dno why,this guy seems so perfect.
that im so afraid of a rejection. again.

an ugly girl alwys faces rejections,time and again.
and i am one fat ugly woman.

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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

hehs. talking to 4B peeps online now.
really missed th times we had tgt.
but somehow i alwys have this urge to erase those mmrs.

im really glad i forgot all about leehq.
last time i forced myself to stop remembering him.
but now,naturally,he left my mind,leaving no traces.

is that a miracle,or is it cos i left my heart to someone else?

dno. but i just know. i fell in love. deeply again.
this time th feelings are for real.

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Sunday, May 24, 2009

ohmy.
i fell in love with a guy i never thought i would love.
i hope this love wont be wrong lk th past few times.

he appeared in my dream (:

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Monday, May 18, 2009

im really touched by you.
yepps.
time and agains.

now you've really made me realise th world aint as ugly as i thought.
wuyi! thanks so much.
i realise th world was so much more beautiful with your presence.
i saw how you stood by your friends.
and i saw how you stood by me too.

yet today,ure too much lol!
(i mean you've done too much for me,until im lost for wordss!)
th oscar award 0.5% thing,i didn do anything but then you just included by name so i could have extra marks too.
if i pass my econs,gna treat you and lihui with some cinnamoroll!

really touched by you guys.
i realised th world isnt full of selfish people after all.

then siewlin,tks for writing me tt long email.
so in return,i wrote a long note for you too.
it expresses all my love for you yeps.

thanks guys,for being there for me at the lowest point of my life.

today,i saw Him turn his back against me.
but,what can i do?

to hq:
cos i dont wanna give you pressure,ive alrd tried to conceal my love for you.
dont let me burst it all out yeahs?
i know you wont read this.
but i wanna tell you,not to be affected by me.
when you see me,just treat me as transparent.
i wont mind,
but dont turn your back on me again ..
cos i really dont wanna have tt feeling tt ure leaving again.
yeahs,i wont look at you anymore.
just lk how you pretend not to see me,i will too.
ily.

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Friday, May 15, 2009

" When I see him, I just looked down on the ground and walked as fast as I can. When we looked into each other eyes, the whole atmosphere was cold. We’ll look away, its as if we dont know each other. I dont know how long more can I avoid. This is so getting no where. I am so going to forget him(: I dont know if the feelings is there, but I could only say he’s being categorized under the lovers’ section. There’s no future between us. When will he ever forgive me? It’s torturing. I guess keeping quiet is the best.
I feel that I’m having depression soon. One moment, I can be super high and hyper. Another moment, I can be super emo. I dont know what’s wrong with me. Am I stress? But there’s no school now!! How can I be stress?! "

---found this post in some random girl's blog (or atleast some bytch who bullied my gf,yting!)

but anyws,i found this part tt really relates to me and Him.
really,i alwys look down so i dont catch his eye,
weird,but it's become my reflex action.

&i dno why,but crying has become part and parcel of my life.
im sick of living.
sometimes,life really seems so meaningless and bleak.

i lost evth,incl th meaning of life.
i lost him,i lost evth.
sometimes,i wonder my purpose of living on.
cos of him? gf? family? friends?
but,it all seems meaningless alrd.

but im glad,5k's there for me.
when im broke down on wed...
tks for th cards(from xinyu mortal,chingxin,lihui) & tissue (from tongjing) & all th consolation from everyone of you. (esp wuyi,who accompanied me everywhr i went)
hees,i realised it's means so much to have tissue from someone else everytime you cry.
it means there are people there for you.
(trying my best,to console my self)

cried on thurs again.
i guess it's cos i failed econs.
(hope noone saw -.-)

there's bball today. hope he didn tire himself out.
wanted to stay back to watch them train.
but i realised my presence meant nothing,but brought more disaster.

life,so sad.
so melancholic.

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Friday, May 8, 2009

moodcheck: heartbroken

i dno what went wrong with me.
ive found life so meaningless,tht i dont feel lk continuing with it,and suffering along with it.

ms tham told us tt it's pointless if ure forced to sing when you dont lk singing.
it's just lk im forced to live,when i dont feel lk living.
it's pointless.
it's chore to cry everyday. or even cry myself to sleep.

im getting sick of my life.
and i really mean it,tt life just sucks.

feel lk breaking down now.
shits,im finding tears down my cheeks D:

when i realised how insignificant i am to you,i felt so heartbroken.
you meant evth to me.
but now,im just plain air to you?

yes,missing you.
wanna see you.

but will it make a difference,being able to see you?
nvm,i shall just look at tt photo of you.
to survive th hols w/o you.

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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

SILVER.
this spells all our hard work and effort,yeps.
rvcs, g-doubleo-djob-goodjob!

hq,thanks for appearing infront of me before syf.
you were really my motivator.
cos of you,i werent nervous at all.

tks,hqily.

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Monday, May 4, 2009

tmr's syf woots.
im so excited. cos this would be my last last syf D:

hees. i will do my best yeps!

&anyws,my horoscope told me something today:

“不妨想他大胆地表露你的心声，以定会的到好的回应。”

i wanted to confess to him,when i saw him today.
but i just didn have th courage to.
been rejected by him several times alrd.
tt time and tt time.
all th courage've been lost since all th rejections.
i dno why im still clinging on.
still hoping tt he'll turn and look at me.

i feel so insignificant to him.
saw him today when i came to schl.
but he didn even catch me in the eye
i miss the times he'll joke with me,cuddle me,and cheer me up when im down.
i miss th times he'll wish my lucks in what i do.

i really miss him.
i must see him before syf tmr.
he'll be my motivator.

and i shall confess to Him here:
hqily.

*blushes*

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Saturday, May 2, 2009

injured my calf.
i gna skip PTs&PEs.
till it recovers.

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Friday, May 1, 2009

really at a loss at what to do.
i really love singing.
but i dno why i dont feel happy in choir now.
all th must dos and must donts are driving me crazy alrd.
im feeling really stressed to do well.

yet,there aint much encouragement and drive for me.
i cant seem to enjoy anymore.
but my mum forces me to stay on after syf.
it's lk i dno why.
but next year when th year4s come in, i know i gna feel really lonely.
cos ive alrd felt it yesterday.
how my supposedly good friends left me alone to join th jnrs.

i know this gna happen.
and im trying to escape from reality.
last time,friends were my reason for staying on in choir.
but now,ive lost th reason for staying.

ive been crying lately.

i dno why there's alwys this gush of unhappiness.
i dno if it's cos hq aint there for me anymore.
or if i just cnt handle lil stuffs anymore.
i feel so weak.

been telling people not to give up on their lives,yet here am i on th verge of givingup.
i feel so fake.

really miss him.
yesterday had a really sweet dream of him.
if only dreams can come true,

okay,i shall go have a sleep,so i can see him again today.

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Cassandra

I M C.ASS.L.Y., C.S.L.Y,

I dont believe in True~~Love.~~

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